ARE YOU A GIVER OR A TAKER?

"You've got to give more than you take."

-       Christopher Reeve

How many times have you heard someone say that an individual is a giver or that they are such a taker? I have, and the entire concept is a broad statement used in daily conversations often to generalize about a person’s character and their mode of operation or how they function in life.  Where do you honestly see yourself? What opinion would someone say about you when you aren’t around to hear it?

A good simplified definition of a “taker” is a person that shows a high level of narcissism and selfishness.  An individual will seek to get what they feel they need no matter at what cost. There is an overwhelming motive to get results solely to serve their interests first and foremost.  There is little or no concern or care for anyone else but their own self (their ego rules and dominates their thoughts). They employ tactics to acquire outcomes they seek. What they want is paramount, even if it may not be in the best interest of others affected by the actions taken.  Takers are great in the art of manipulating others to obtain what they desire and what is important to them to satisfy their immediate agenda.  Usually there is a persistent pattern of behavior, as they are not easily satiated but continue to repeatedly procure from others to get their way or achieve the desired results until they do.  They look for “givers.”

The opposite of a “taker” is a “giver.” A giver is a person who viewed as being selfless and generous in spirit. They have a genuine concern for others and are unselfish. Givers see the big picture of a situation not the magnified viewpoint of the taker.  Givers are seen as people whose thoughts tend to be more focused on how they can contribute and help others who might be in need. Often acting spontaneously, they willingly offer assistance or support without expecting any immediate pay back. Givers are usually ready to go above and beyond of what is normally expected in social interactions. They exhibit a natural kindness and an attitude of gratitude.  They are confident that their needs will be met in life by being authentic in their style of operation.  The important note of concern here is that the “giver” is careful about setting up personal boundaries so that the “takers” do not seize unnecessary advantage of them.  In essence, a giver must learn when and where it is appropriate to say “No.”

Contemplate what side of the continuum you see yourself? Are you being honest with how you function in your life? What would you be willing to change? How has your style worked for you in the past? Today’s a new day – what direction will you choose?

"The key to success is letting the relationships in your life grow to the highest levels they possibly can . . . not putting yourself first in life and remembering that the more you give away, the more you have. "

-Christopher Reeve

I invite your comments.