“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.  Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.  Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition.  They somehow already know what you truly want to become.  Everything else is secondary.” - Steve Jobs

Have you ever experienced your intuition telling you what's wrong or what's right?

Have you found that consciously choosing not to listen to your inner voice resulted in the least favorable outcome?

Have you learned that following your intuition usually exists as a means to guide you in the right direction - but you end up forgetting to rely on your intuition anyway?

In our busy lives every day, we are constantly faced with making a multitude of decisions. Some have little or no consequence while others may determine a significant outcome depending on the given situation. I have used my own intuition to assist me getting where I needed to go by making an impromptu decision and to later learn that I had made the right choice in that moment. By utilizing and developing this wonderful skill you will be better able to manage your life much more successfully. In addition, you may find that you'll navigate yourself that much easier throughout your day.

By following your intuition, it will enable you to greatly improve your decision-making skills and choices and will benefit whatever it is that needs your attention to accomplish routine tasks. It could be as simple as deciding what to buy when you are at the grocery store or shopping for an item of clothing. It could be as significant and/or as difficult in whether or not to purchase a car or a home. If your mind is clear and calm, your intuition will guide you when you are actively making these types of important decisions that do have a lasting impact and consequence for you at work, at home, with your finances and personal relationships.

Recently, on the Dr. Oz Show, Dr. Oz interviewed the world renowned Intuitive Medium, Char Margolis. She shared with the audience that she believes everyone possess a 'sixth' sense, our intuition. To best serve you, learn to use and fine-tune this special sense. Recognize it by listening to your 'gut instinct.' What are you sensing in that moment in time is your 'inner voice.' Then act upon what it is that you have learned.

This is your life and it's a brief one. Do accept your own true choices. Do not let others put a cage around you. Be confident to diplomatically speak up for yourself when it's appropriate. Express your feelings and what you are thinking when you get a signal from within that doesn't agree with others. Do what you genuinely feel "fits" for you. Say yes when you really sense it is right for you and say no when you sense it isn't. After all, you are the one who has to live with yourself!

Listen to your heart. Even though it's on the left side, it's always right. - Unknown

Next month, I will share in more detail how to connect with your intuition and why it is in your best interest to allow it to guide you to be able to live a much happier and fulfilling life.

I invite your comments.

Are you ready to make a plan for yourself?

Now that New Year has started, have you established some realistic goals for your future?

Are you thinking, how do I get started?

How can I create significant results?

If you’d read my last month’s blog topic on “In With the New and Out With the Old,” you’ll have a keen understanding of how important it is to set yourself up for measurable success in meeting your intended goals. Intentions are just that; what you “intended” to do but not what actually did. Everyone has intentions but not everyone takes actions. What happens is based on the choices you make plus the actions you take, plain and simple. The old adage “Actions speak louder than words” is apropos here. 

If you give yourself the gift of some quality "down" time to carefully reflect on the changes you feel the most strongly about, then you are ready to create a plan for this year. By tapping into your inner most self or what I refer to as your “inner work,” you will have most likely generated a mental list to build upon. If you feel stuck with this portion and feel unable to move forward, ask yourself this provocative question and see what spontaneously bubbles up to the surface. Sometimes one must first come up with the powerful question before an answer will appear. A simple way to effectively stimulate your thinking is to ask this question:

            What do I want that I am not getting?

The three differences between having a tangible goal and a visionary dream are accountability, a definite timeline and lastly measurable results.

To become accountable, to establish a chronological timeline and measure your results utilize these steps:

·      Visualize and create a documentable list of things you wish to accomplish in the next month, next 90 days and by this time next year. Your items can be categorized into short, middle and long-term goals. Post this list where you will be able to refer to it regularly. As a suggestion, have your list displayed on your bathroom mirror, on your personal computer monitor or even on your phone. The key is to allow it to be a constant visible reminder to follow through and not slack off or quit altogether. You have now made a serious commitment to yourself to execute your desired goals to benefit your well-being.

·      Make an action plan with multiple steps to begin to fulfill each of your listed goals. The metaphorical question: "How do you eat an elephant?" The answer is "in small bites." If a goal has become unattainable, too difficult or unrealistic, then re-evaluate it to better fit your expectations. If necessary, re-negotiate your plan, as needed. You can always add another goal and raise your aim higher, once you have accomplished the preceding ones. You are now in the position to better manage yourself and hold yourself fully accountable for the outcome(s) you foremost wanted.

·      Lastly, check in with your results. Have you accomplished what you intended to do? What is solid evidence that your actions have succeeded in providing the outcomes you wanted? A life coach can assist you to indentify your challenges, help you with strategizing a concrete plan and hold you accountable to your chosen personal vision.

In order to get anywhere, we must learn to walk before we are able to run. It’s very important to always reward yourself for your efforts. Research has shown that heavy doses of self-criticism and self-doubt re both counterproductive to increased motivation and self-control. By being both self-supportive and compassionate you are being kind to yourself. Even with occasional setbacks, you can re-adjust your plan's outline and be self-forgiving in the process. It will bring you more satisfaction in receiving what it is you really want.  Both small and sizeable action steps bring you that much closer to attaining your personal goals. You have led yourself that much closer to manifesting what it is you wanted to achieve in the first place! Congratulations to you! Keep up your efforts by investing the time and energy in yourself. Don’t give up easily – you are really worth it!

As always, I invite your comments.

It’s the beginning of the New Year and with it you may have expectations for what you’d like to see happen. Have you challenged yourself to make any significant changes in your life? Have you made any conscious decisions about what you really want to do differently this year? This process of self-reflection is necessary to evaluate your current status. By taking a personal inventory of what has occurred in the last year, you will be in a better position to determine where you are right now. By allowing yourself to look back you will be probably be able to quickly pinpoint your issues of dissatisfaction. And make better choices for your future.

An easy way to begin this process is to ask the following:

What are my successes?

What are my failures?

Next, what do you feel is within your own personal power to effectively change? What is better to leave behind? If you have some generated some solid ideas to improve your current circumstances, congratulate yourself! You have already gained momentum to move forward.

3 SIMPLE QUESTIONS TO HELP YOU GET STARTED:

What do you want?

What’s in your way?

Who do you need to become?

Next, to move past the concept thinking stage you will need to make a plan, set goals and commit to act upon them. The difference between a having a realistic goal and having a dream are three key factors: accountability, a timeline and be able to have measurable results. All the wishing and hoping will not create the tangible quantifiable results you alone seek to accomplish. The old expression “Talk is cheap” fits well here. A true commitment to effect change and a plan of action steps insures you much greater chances of success.

How will you hold yourself accountable?

How will you be able to measure your results?

What do you need to do to set yourself up to accomplish your intended goals?

How will you plan to reward yourself?

It’s 2012. Now is the time to begin to assess your personal challenges. Seize the moment to invest the necessary time and energy for yourself. You are worth it! Make a conscious decision to change whatever it is that hasn’t worked well for you this past year. Become more pro-active and aspire to do what you want this New Year. Next year at this time, you’ll feel a sense of pride and accomplishment.  You matter. Make this your best year yet! So out with the old, bring in the new you!

Note: Next month I will address how to establish goals and be accountable to obtain your desired measurable results.

I invite your comments.

Have you ever heard of a “Happiness Account?” It’s the kind email subject that gets forwarded on and on like an old worn out chain letter. One that you may easily delete because you feel it’s not worth your time, however, this one has an interesting and relevant twist. Upon attempting to de-clutter some old files I came across this story about an old man and his happiness account. I am glad I made the good choice to read it rather than sending it to trash. I’d like to share it with you and perhaps you’d like to pass this along to someone who might need a gentle reminder to focus on what is really important.

Subject: Happiness account

A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.

His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.

As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.

'I love it,' he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

'Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait.'

'That doesn’t' have anything to do with it,' he replied.

'Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged, it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it.’

'It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or I can choose to get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.’

‘Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life.’

Old age is really like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in.

If you follow the old man’s advise you would be wise to deposit a lot of happiness in your bank account. So, how is your Happiness Account? Is it full of fond recollections of your life experiences or are you emotionally bankrupt? I’d like to think we all need to make more deposits into our own, so that when we need to make withdrawals in the future, there will be a bounty for you to enjoy.

“Happiness is not ready made, it comes from your own actions.” – Dalai

Lama

I invite your comments.

What is an energy vampire? It is a person in your life that leaves you feeling very emotionally and/or mentally exhausted after interacting with them. Their conversation centered on their long laundry list of troubles. Energy vampires always have something to consistently complain about, and/or problems that need to be fixed. They’ll drain your energy by forcing you to listen to their problems or by giving them excessive amounts of attention.

These vampires heavily rely on you to help them solve their issues. They need you to be the “chosen one” to listen. They are most likely addicted to “awfulizing” what is happening. It can make you feel good to be the “open door” go-to person to be there when the need arises.  However, the distinction to be mindful of is the recognition of how often this happens to you. How much does this individual contact you? How frequently? Do you feel that they have expectations for you to come up with solutions each time?

It is important in life to have a confidante to be your “sounding board.” A trustworthy person that you feel is both caring and logical. This special individual really ought to hold your best interests at heart. Sometimes we need to have someone be our best friend and guide us. To help you navigate what is worth concerning yourself with. This designated person is someone whom you have deemed can clearly separate fact from fiction. They may be wise and very pragmatic. From your past involvement with them they have proven to you that they have an objective non-judgmental approach.

There is an old expression of “Misery loves company.” This is the primary motive of the energy vampire. They bring you down because they are down. They may not want to put forth or expend their own mental or emotional energy to try and work on resolving their dilemmas. It is much easier to seek out answers and obtain advise from you. I firmly believe in the following astute quote:

 “We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy.  The amount of work is the same.”  - Carlos Castaneda 

How to avoid these energy vampires? It is a matter of learning to set limits on how often and how much you are willing to tolerate. When you make the conscious choice to establish and stick to your boundaries you will be controlling how much you allow them to “suck” you dry. Let this person know ahead of time that you do not want every conversation to be a long complaint session. That you truly care about their well-being but they must own up to their own problems. It is in their own interest for personal growth to try their best to put forth the necessary effort to improve their situation. You can even turn it around on them and ask them what they plan to do to “fix” it. You can help them create an action plan and hold them accountable. Then reward them with praise on how well they did. You can acknowledge and reinforce that they can be both capable and resourceful. Like raising little children, you attempt to “catch them being good” and they will become less of an energy vampire to you!